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I had never been to the races before, and never understood the appeal. I think I understand now. I had never played slot machines before, never understood the appeal. Still don’t get it.

Matt invited a group out for his 31st birthday to Woodbine. Since the majority of people were a tad late, Emily and I wandered to the slot machines. I had never played the slots before, and didn’t really get the appeal, but was willing to try. Emily chose her 2¢ slot machine, and I sat down at the machine beside hers. I tried reading the rules, but didn’t understand what was happening on the screen, so I pressed two random buttons. I didn’t understand how I went from $20 to ~$17 with the press of two buttons, but I did, and then the machine just started going on its own. It spent about five minutes flashing and making noises, and spinning things, and doing stuff, and I was confused. Then suddenly it stopped and my credit was at $89. I won $69 in five minutes, and I didn’t do anything. Even though I won, I still don’t understand the appeal of slot machines. There’s nothing social about it. You’re letting a computer decide if you win of lose, there’s no skill involved, and honestly, it’s boring. So at that point I cashed out, and watched Emily’s $20 dwindle.

At that point the others arrived, so we headed upstairs for some racing. It was a very social atmosphere, and we would bet together, and drink together, and have fun together. We’d cheer for horses, when it didn’t really matter. Well, it didn’t matter for me, as I was up $69 and didn’t plan to gamble any more. However, Matt put his hopes on three wins in a row, and at the last moment handed a toonie to Matt to put on the horse. Horsey lost. At least it was less than transit fare. I then decided in the next race to pick two random horses. Pressing two random buttons worked before. And it worked again. I won another $45. I don’t get it, but I was glad that Woodbine was able to pay for the birthday boy’s dinner.

Photo: Emily’s robotic boyfriend from the future, Todd 4000, wishes all the Matts a happy 50th birthday.


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